People have strong feelings about the Enneagram, the nine-way typology model popular among millennials (particularly Christian ones). For some, it’s the very lens the through which they experience the world — a tool for self discovery and a gift from Heaven, not unlike the stone tablets upon which the Ten Commandments were etched on Mount Sinai. For others, it’s at best an annoying fad, and at worst a bogus social crutch for the weak-minded. After reading up on this phenomenon (and listening to way too many podcasts about it) for the last three years or so, I find myself somewhere in the middle of these two extremes, although I’m probably closer to the former if I’m being honest. But when it comes to the question of whether or not the Enneagram is “real”, the conclusion I’ve come to is that it is not. It’s a bunch of made up nonsense.
And yet, I’m so glad I stumbled across it, because it’s helped me a lot. Many Christian Enneagram enthusiasts love to talk about how the Enneagram has its roots in church history. While there may be some truth to this, the evidence is hazy at best. Some ancient Christian mystics have recorded ideas that seem to vaguely resemble the Enneagram, but the actual nine-pointed shape and subsequent personality types that we recognize today didn’t show up until the 20th century. Now, in the latter half of the 2010’s, the Enneagram is absolutely ubiquitous. The first thing that caught my attention with the Enneagram when I discovered it a few years ago was the distinctness of the number nine. Why nine types? This immediately sets it apart from other typology tools such as Meyers-Briggs, which has sixteen types. In fact, most personality assessments are roughly based on a four-quadrant system (many are a reinterpretation of the “Four Temperaments” which date back to Ancient Greece), so the number of possible types is normally a multiple of four. But the Enneagram has nine types. That number seemed so arbitrary to me, but I was intrigued enough to look into it more. Slowly I began to set my skepticism aside, telling myself that this was probably all fake, but at least it was fun. It took me quite a bit of flip-flopping before I eventually settled on 9 as the type that resonated with me the most. Type 9 is often designated as “The Peacemaker” or “The Mediator". Those dominant in the type have a reputation for being indecisive, so it makes sense within the model of the Enneagram that I would have settled on this one in the end. The Enneagram nerd in me loves that even my own process of discovering my type reflects my type, while the skeptic in me thinks, “Wow, isn’t it convenient that they even have a type for people who can’t decide what type they are?” And yet, I still don’t know that Type 9 resonates with me completely. It certainly seems like the closest fit given the options, but if the Enneagram really were a cosmic code of personality categorization that everyone fits into, shouldn’t I fit neatly into one category? If I have to settle for a type that only mostly represents me, does that imply that this is all just a bunch of self-serious make-believe? Truthfully, yes, I think it does. Most Enneagram experts would agree that the personality model that the Enneagram has come to represent is largely based on trial and error. But if you are an Enneagram enthusiast, I am not trying to convince you that the Enneagram has any less value than you currently believe it has. What I want to do is convince the people who already think this thing is a bunch of fluff that while they’re somewhat correct, that doesn’t mean it’s useless. It isn’t just a thing that some dude made up hundreds of years ago. It’s a thing that a whole bunch of people made up over a period of hundreds of years. That has to carry a bit more weight, doesn’t it? More than once, I’ve heard the Enneagram described as “astrology for Christians”. While most people who use that comparison are not using it in a flattering way, there is probably some merit to it. There are some obvious similarities, not the least of which is the vibe of vague hippie spiritualism that many associate with both. That’s a connotation that Meyers-Briggs, DISC, and other similar typology models do not share. But unlike astrology, one’s Enneagram type is not determined by their birth date — which, much to the chagrin of Enneagram-haters, makes it a bit harder to “disprove”. So what determines your Enneagram type? According to the experts, it’s a potentially long journey of self discovery. According to someone who just heard about it last week, it might be a twelve-question internet quiz. It’s all rather subjective. Since Enneagram 7’s are not born with a Roman numeral VII tattooed on their forehead, the correlation between a person’s type and their behavior isn’t really solid evidence for the Enneagram’s validity. We can’t look at the behavior of a Type 7 and say, “See? All 7’s behave this way.” Because who is to say that person is really a Type 7? The best we can do is say, “Some people behave this way.” If you read a list of distinct personality categories, one of them is bound to resonate with you more than the others, even if they are all arbitrary. And in case you accidentally relate to more than one type, there will always be an Enneagram nerd nearby to remind you that this is normal, because we all have every type within us. Wow, isn’t that convenient? It feels like I keep finding more and more reasons to throw the Enneagram into the nearest trash can, but every time I find a new one I also find another practical use for it. For example, last year I read a book called The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth, by Christopher L. Heuertz. In it, Heuertz dissects the Enneagram from a Christian perspective, and assigns a “prayer posture” to each type — a two-word description of how each one best relates to the Divine. Each one is a unique combination of one of three verbs (engage, rest, consent) and nouns (solitude, silence, stillness). I won’t go into how he arrives at each of these; truthfully, I don’t fully remember how he gets there, but he definitely shows his work. What I do remember is that the prayer posture for Type 9 was “engage stillness”. “Stillness” comes relatively easy for your typical Type 9 (the “deadly sin” associated with this type is Sloth). But engaging stillness is another matter entirely. So often, I let my idle moments slip by without truly being present in them. This idea of engaging stillness has been immensely helpful to me in my own spiritual life, and I’ve learned to harness it in prayer and meditation. So the Enneagram is helpful. But is it “real”? What does that question even mean? Is a constellation of stars “real”? I’m no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Big Dipper is a cluster of stars that resemble a shape to the human eye only because of where the earth is located in relation to them. If we were located somewhere else in the galaxy, the constellations would look completely different. And yet for centuries, people used these constellations to navigate ships across oceans. At the risk of inviting more astrology-Enneagram comparisons, I think the Enneagram is something like this: a construct that is helpful to human beings in navigating the world, even if it’s, in a sense, completely made up. If you’ve done any amount of reading on the Enneagram, you are likely aware that the modern Enneagram is more complex than just its set of nine types. There are plenty of little extras — wings, subtypes, integration, and more — that make it even more fun (or even more stupid, again depending on who you ask). You might say, “If the Enneagram is all made up, then how is it so dynamic?” From my own personal experience, most of these little bonus mechanics of the model are less universal than the basic typology. Maybe somewhere down the read, we will figure out a scientific reason that a Type 3 integrates to a Type 6 in growth, or why a Type 2 can only have a 1-wing or a 3-wing. Maybe someone has already come up with an explanation for these things that I am unaware of. I tend to think much of this can be explained by the fact that the more “into” the Enneagram you are, the more likely you are to try to understand all this extra stuff. If you get that far into the lore, you’re probably willing to buy into it. As cynical as that sounds, keep in mind that I’m speaking to myself here. I’ve bought into it pretty much entirely — and you know what? It’s been pretty helpful to me! At the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (yes, I am going to quote Harry Potter in my blog post about the Enneagram; I’m rolling my eyes just as hard as you are right now) Harry has an encounter with his deceased mentor Albus Dumbledore in a sort of limbo after he sacrifices himself to save the world. The talk for a while, and after Dumbledore has shared some wisdom with him, Harry asks if this experience is real or if it is only happening in his head. “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry,” says Dumbledore, “but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”
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Dear Bryce,
Thank you. It’s not easy being the only single man in a small group full of young married couples, and we just want you to know that you are Seen, Known, and Loved. We love seeing you walk in seventeen minutes late every Thursday night, grinning sheepishly as you plop that bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on the counter next to Melanie’s green bean casserole. It’s so cute that you still apologize for being late, as if any of us care at all, or have ever expected anything different. We were all so proud of you that one time that you brought Rotel cheese dip, even though it was kind of burnt and you didn’t think to bring any chips with it, which like, kind of defeats the whole purpose (seriously, the one time we actually need some corn chips with our meal you don’t come through). But as much as it made our Hearts Full to see the effort that you put into that little crock-pot, we need to make this clear: just like you can’t earn God’s love, you can’t earn ours either. At this point, we’ve come to expect the Doritos, and it’s fine. The Doritos are fine, Bryce. Even though your weekly update is always the same, we are all always so excited to hear it. Bryce, what’s new? “Oh, you know, work is… busy. But other than that, can’t really complain. Just trying to figure out the whole work/life balance thing.” Ah man, that’s tough, Bryce. Thank you being Raw and Vulnerable with us. We love you. Hey, can we pray for you right now? The main thing we want to get across is this: stop worrying so much. We care about you, but also, in a very different way, we don’t care, you know? We have like, kids and stuff. Real issues to deal with. We don’t have time to judge you for stopping by Food City on your way here every week instead of preparing an actual dish like the rest of us. I mean, the only person who ever even bothers to put any Doritos on his plate most of the time is Paul, and it’s just because he feels bad for you. We truly don’t care, Bryce. You know how that kid in the Bible brought Jesus five loaves and two fish, and he used it to feed a crowd of five thousand people? That kid brought Jesus what he had, and Jesus performed a miracle with it. If you want to think of your Doritos like that, go for it. It’s not really the same though, because you could definitely put in a little more effort and make some brownies or something. But if it’s helpful for you, then yeah, it’s kind of the same in some ways! Bryce, we’re so glad you keep showing up. Truly, most of us gave you six weeks, tops. But against all odds, now you’re a core member of the group, and it wouldn’t be the same without you. Love, Your Small Group Between taking advantage of the rise and fall of MoviePass, the subsequent transition (for myself and many others) to AMC Stubs A-List, and me keeping track of the movies I watched via Letterboxd for the first time, 2018 was a pretty big movie year for me. Here is a list of my top ten movies of the year. 10. Mission: Impossible - FalloutWatching Mission: Impossible - Fallout in 3D after watching through the entire franchise in the weeks leading up to its release was my most enjoyable moviegoing experience in recent years. Christopher McQuarrie manages to string together several unforgettable action set pieces with a plot that moves forward relentlessly, but isn't difficult to follow. It's full of twists and turns, most of which I probably could have figured out ahead of time if I bothered to try, but I was having too much fun to do that. I threw my hands up in gleeful shock several times, thinking (and sometimes saying out loud), "Wow, I love movies!" 9. BlacKkKlansmanBlacKkKlansman is a buddy cop movie about a black man infiltrating the KKK in the 1970's. John David Washington and Adam Driver have a great onscreen chemistry that made this film a lot more fun than I was expecting it to be, while also adding to the gravity of this true story. Terence Blanchard enhances the movie with one of my favorite original scores of the year, featuring Hendrix-esque electric guitar as well as sweeping orchestral swells. The film has received some criticism for how accurate it is to its source material and how it handles some of the heavy topics it attempts to tackle. While these criticisms are valid and quite possibly accurate, BlacKkKlansman was still helpful for me as a white man in understanding the dynamics of what was happening with racism in the 1970's, and how much of that has carried forward to the modern age. 8. A Star is BornWhen I first saw the trailer for A Star is Born, I thought it looked like stinky doodoo garbage juice. I then proceeded to log onto the world wide web to find the universe ooh-ing and ah-ing about how wonderful it looked, and was dumbfounded. Eventually, I came around to the hype, understanding the film for what it is supposed to be. I was charmed by my first viewing, and absolutely enthralled by my second. I love rock and roll. A Star is Born portrays rock and roll, and live music in general, better than any movie I've ever seen (except maybe School of Rock, which is a flawless film, don't @ me). There was pretty much no hope of me getting much enjoyment out of this year's other live-music flick Bohemian Rhapsody after being captivated by the lifelike energy that this film puts forth in its concert sequences. Of course, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper are both amazing in their chemistry and in their individual performances. This fourth incarnation of A Star is Born is predictable, cheesy, and not particularly original, but it also completely works for me 100% of the time. 7. Paddington 2Okay, I know, I know, but listen... Paddington 2 really is as good as everyone is telling you it is. I promise. Paddington is a kind little bear who just wants to get his Aunt Lucy a pop-up book for her birthday. And you know what? That's pretty much it. Sure, hijinks ensue, and he ends up getting thrown in jail for a crime he didn't commit, but the plot of this adorable and moving little story is remarkably simple. I could talk about the beautiful cinematography, the perfectly whimsical set and costume designs, or Hugh Grant's wonderfully hilarious performance as the villain, but I don't really want to. I just want to say that Paddington 2 is a very nice movie, and we need more nice movies. 6. First ManI'm a sucker for any story about a person who's grieving and is terrible at expressing his/her emotions (Manchester by the Sea was another one of these that spoke my language). I had no clue that’s what I was walking into when I bought a ticket for First Man.
The breathtaking rocket launch and moon landing sequences are just icing on the cake that is Ryan Gosling's perfectly subtle performance as the socially inept weirdo that was Neil Armstrong. But the moment I would find myself laughing at him for being such a big dumb dork, he’d do something that felt like a punch in the gut. It was like he was leaning out of the screen, poking me in the chest, and yelling, “THIS IS YOOOOUUUU, DON’T YOU GET IT? I’M YOU! WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED OF YOUR FEELINGS? WHY ARE YOU SO COLD TO YOUR LOVED ONES?” Maybe I need to go to the moon. |
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